7:50 am: No, really, why is that? Natural hair folks?

Hi Alexis Marie, It is an interesting discussion for sure. I really do feel excluded from the ‘natural hair’ happy fun times on the internet and in general :) It’s cool though. I think it is AMAZING that these types of resources and community are available to women right now. I could not even dream of it 12 or 13 years ago when I decided to stop relaxing my hair so I am overjoyed for black women and girls no matter WHAT hairstyle they choose. I think it is of UTMOST importance. I didn’t mean to suggest that YOU said I was making a mistake exactly-I just don’t really agree with the notion that an afro is somehow ‘more’ revolutionary or defiant which I’m pretty sure you did say. I just still feel that white is VERY MUCH alive as the litmus test for beauty and anything else is seen as ‘exotic’ at best and ‘ugly’ at worst. I really do get that black girls and women have been taught to revere hair that falls down our backs and I suppose that in that sense I have something that naturals without locs don’t have but that doesn’t mean that those same black women will make comments about how they could ‘never have locs’ and imply that they think they are dirty or messy or whatever. The elephant in the room is that WE HAVE ALL BEEN TAUGHT TO HATE OURSELVES AND THAT SUCKS. Thanks for the fascinating discussion :) It is not a discussion that I get to have as often as I would like.

msalexismarie:

onikaisthenewblack:

Lots of thoughts are spinning around in my head about this discussion. I just wish people could walk around in my shoes and have white ladies say they “like my hat” or ask to touch my head like I am a fucking exhibit deal with family and friends, coworkers and supervisors imply that I am dirty, unkempt and “less beautiful” with my hair this way then try to come and tell me that I am somehow considered closer to the “likeness to the Euro centric ideal” because I made the ‘mistake’ of not just growing an Afro in order to express my pride. My choice to wear my hair this way was ABSOLUTELY motivated by a CONSCIOUS resistance of euro centric and racist beauty ideals. NOT the opposite. I was actually really hurt by this whole idea and I am hurt by it every day when trying to engage in the natural hair community on the internet. okay…deep breaths…

sapphrikah:

Why is it that so often times when people talk about Natural Hair what they really mean is Afros, locs and other styles often get absentmindedly forgotten.

I could click a link to read an article about natural hair and it turns out it doesn’t apply to me at all because its about…

Onika, I understand what you’re saying, and no I have never had locs so I won’t even try to say I’ve walked in your specific shoes, but what I will say is that we’re on very similar walks! Everything you’ve just said, all that you’ve experienced as a natural woman with locs I too have experienced with my afro.

But even more so now that I live in England! I’ve cried myself to sleep at night because of the things that have happened to me here. The things that have happened because I am a Black woman, a natural Black woman. I cannot tell you how many people have grabbed, touched, poked at and even petted my hair. All of them wondering what I did to make it this way. No one I have come in contact with has EVER seen a woman with an afro before. I have been exoticized, fetishized and sexually assaulted on account of others’ curiosity. But enough about my woes:

I never said that ones decision to loc their hair is a mistake: I do not feel that way at all. I clearly expressed that I believe locs should be fully included in the discussion, categorization and community of natural hair. I’m sorry that that this discussion is hurtful to you, but I think it’s an important conversation to be having. I appreciate the fact that you responded, I cannot speak for women with locs, as I have never had them, but I am very interested in engaging with you in this discourse.

7:50 am: No, really, why is that? Natural hair folks?

msalexismarie:

onikaisthenewblack:

Lots of thoughts are spinning around in my head about this discussion. I just wish people could walk around in my shoes and have white ladies say they “like my hat” or ask to touch my head like I am a fucking exhibit deal with family and friends, coworkers and supervisors imply that I am dirty, unkempt and “less beautiful” with my hair this way then try to come and tell me that I am somehow considered closer to the “likeness to the Euro centric ideal” because I made the ‘mistake’ of not just growing an Afro in order to express my pride. My choice to wear my hair this way was ABSOLUTELY motivated by a CONSCIOUS resistance of euro centric and racist beauty ideals. NOT the opposite. I was actually really hurt by this whole idea and I am hurt by it every day when trying to engage in the natural hair community on the internet. okay…deep breaths…

sapphrikah:

Why is it that so often times when people talk about Natural Hair what they really mean is Afros, locs and other styles often get absentmindedly forgotten.

I could click a link to read an article about natural hair and it turns out it doesn’t apply to me at all because its about…

Onika, I understand what you’re saying, and no I have never had locs so I won’t even try to say I’ve walked in your specific shoes, but what I will say is that we’re on very similar walks! Everything you’ve just said, all that you’ve experienced as a natural woman with locs I too have experienced with my afro.

But even more so now that I live in England! I’ve cried myself to sleep at night because of the things that have happened to me here. The things that have happened because I am a Black woman, a natural Black woman. I cannot tell you how many people have grabbed, touched, poked at and even petted my hair. All of them wondering what I did to make it this way. No one I have come in contact with has EVER seen a woman with an afro before. I have been exoticized, fetishized and sexually assaulted on account of others’ curiosity. But enough about my woes:

I never said that ones decision to loc their hair is a mistake: I do not feel that way at all. I clearly expressed that I believe locs should be fully included in the discussion, categorization and community of natural hair. I’m sorry that that this discussion is hurtful to you, but I think it’s an important conversation to be having. I appreciate the fact that you responded, I cannot speak for women with locs, as I have never had them, but I am very interested in engaging with you in this discourse.